photo: mi amore, jstfd.com
She leaned her head against the cold bus window, soothing the searing pain that plagued so many of her days. Her large gray eyes stared dejectedly through the rain drops that had been left to lie on the glass. She was listening, eavesdropping really, to the chatter of other students. I feel an ache inside me, she thought to herself, Why wont it come out. Her blonde hair, slightly damp from the walk through the early February rain, tucked itself into the collar of her long black peacoat. The coat was a gift from her mother around christmas time, purchased spur of the moment in a flurry of shopping trips in New Hampshire during the winter break. As she glanced down to the book she was pretending to read, she noticed that the coat had accumulated a dusting of the ever-present short, white dog hairs that swarmed even her most carefully guarded articles. The book was a used copy, "The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin", an assignment for her senior capstone course, and although there were two "used" stickers clinging to the binding, it didn't look to her as if it had seen much use. She read the first line, for the third time, "Dear son: I have ever had pleasure in obtaining any little anecdotes…"
"Sev has this mindset that if he comes up with a plan to march, people are just going to march with him. He doesn't think about other people's motives and priorities".
"Yeah, but you cant just sit around waiting…"
"True. Sevs an adventurer. He is doing it 'cause he likes it".
She muses on their naive tangents, Why don't I start getting involved in activism again? What am I doing with the magazine? What if I am trying to force something that isn't there?
This question had come like a reoccurring dream as predictable as eating or defacting, as unyielding as the Haitian earthquake, or Hurricane Katrina. Many of her thoughts operate in this way, obsessive, unrelenting; she was practicing learning to let go.
I'm there because I want to be there. How could I be forcing my own life? I am not going out of my way, I am not starving. I am taking it step by step. Day by day. I cannot ignore that which I want.
Her mind drifted away from the plotting students, the rain soaked window, the discussion of Pakistan and the shape of california. She let her large gray eyes wander to the blank first page of Franklin's Autobiography. And she thought. She thought in poetic prose as she so often did, and her mind whispered,
I wish to slice an incision down the center of my body
Arms and legs strapped to a gurney
Pretty blonde hair splayed about me.
I want to watch the blood drip down my sides
revealing the layers of flesh and muscle.
I desire to reach my ribs. To see before my own eyes
the beating of my own heart.
I want to watch the white, black, gray silvery ribbon and spiral
emerge from within my chest. I want to watch it release it self.
I want to set it free into the world, and let them sit with it.
She thought this all as she let her head drop back against the glass, now warmed by her own heat. She felt her hands clutching the words of Franklin, an attempt to elicit meaning through touch alone. The chattering students had quieted. Her headache soothed by her own rhythmic day dreams.
The red yellow white lights of the station came into view, her large gray eyes stared up at the concrete giant looming before her. The bus stopped. She gathered her book, her bag, her wallet; thoughts eased by the simple act of going home. She thanked the driver as she stepped down the stairs into the february rain. Hair tucked serenely into her coat. Gray eyes staring, preparing for the routine that lay ahead. Her mind whispering, you are almost there.
Save the Date:
Oakland Art murmur
Downtown Oakland
February 5th, 2010
Start: 6:00 pm-ish
End: when the cops send us home...
Heads up everyone, tomorrow night is our favorite hipster street party of the month, Oakland Art murmur! For those of you who haven't previously attended this earth shattering event let me outline the basics for you:
1. Free Art. Thats right, you can actually go out in the Bay Area on a friday night and not wipe out over a week's worth of BART fare! Nineteen galleries from Berkeley to downtown Oakland open their doors so you- fellow art lovers- can view the contemporary masterpieces that await your critique and viewing pleasure. Generally the works run the gamut from headless toys to politically charged drawings to oil on canvas pieces that evoke the greats. Bottom line, there is something for everyone. Murmur's mission states that they are, "dedicated to increasing popular awareness of and participation in the arts". Now I'm making you aware so no excuses, come participate!
2. Its BART accessible. Just take your local Pittsburgh/Bay Point or Richmond train to the 19th Street station and walk up a few blocks to the first gallery, Kuhl Frames and Art on 22nd street. Believe me, you'll know when you're there, you can't miss it.
3. Street Drinking. You heard me, come prepared with a bottle opener and some sort of alcohol concealment device, such as a brown paper bag, and you'll be just like one of the Oakland locals- at least for a few hours, then we're sending you back under the bay where you came from.
4. You can participate! If you are an artist, jewelry maker, clothing designer, photographer, street poetry dealer, macaroni collage maker, etc., Art Murmur wants you involved! If you contact Rock Paper Scissors Collective (www.rpscollective.com), an art collective that helps put on Murmur, you can set up a table on 23rd street to sell your art wares. From Rock Paper Scissors website: "Can I set up a table on 23rd street?
Why of course you can. There are some stipulations to note: [1] Let us know - send an email to 23rdst _at_ oaklandartmurmur _dot_ com and the 23rd st coordinator will let you know if there's room and work with you on the day of the event to find a space for you. [2] Bring a table and chairs - Rock Paper Scissors has a limited number of tables and chairs that people can use but they aren't guaranteed. [3] Clean up - be prepared to break down and help clean up the street at 9pm".
5. This is a place for the young, the old, the scholars, the shoppers, the wealthy and the completely destitute to rub elbows and mingle in a mutual appreciation for contemporary self-expression through a multiplicity of mediums. It's cool, it's hip, and if you don't have anything else mind-blowing going on, it's tomorrow night.
So that's it folks, if those reasons haven't convinced you then we don't want you there anyway!
Visit www.oaklandartmurmur.com for more info.!
